Interpersonal skills are often very important for success at work. Think about this for your own career, and if you’re hiring people.
By aggregating new research from various fields—since no specific discipline addresses the phenomenon— we endeavored upon a project to find what actually happens when two people click. More importantly, we wanted to discover if and how these moments shape our lives. While researching this topic, we initially discovered two big surprises. First, some people are more naturally inclined to form clicking relationships. Second, these people are much more likely to succeed in the workplace. Clicking at work can mean a promotion, a raise, or a position at the center of the company’s social network. Take someone like Moseley. “I do an accountant’s job, which is really administrative,” she reflected. “Because of my relationship with Kelly, I now get invited to events, meetings, and conferences that I’d have no business going to as an accountant.” Professionally, the relationship was mutually beneficial. “Knowing Heather,” McVicker says, “I find out what’s on people’s minds. As a supervisor this is crucial information.”
Moseley wasn’t strategically kissing up to a superior. Rather, she possesses a trait that University of Minnesota psychologist Mark Snyder has dubbed “high self-monitoring.” By interviewing subjects about their ability to imitate the behavior of others and to become the center of attention, Snyder developed a scale of self-monitoring. High self-monitors, he discovered, are social chameleons. Without even realizing it, they adapt their personalities, behavior, and attitudes to fit the people around them. They pick up subtle social cues and tailor their responses to the situation.
Adaptability – that’s the key. It’s not being fake, just understanding that context is everything, and work is no exception.
